Enjoy “Carol of the Bells” (for 12 cellos), performed by The Piano Guys:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9GtPX6c_kg

Click here to view the embedded video.

The author of the following e-mail took it upon herself or herself (it didn’t include a byline) to help us assuage holiday-food-binge-guilt by suggesting a new–and much more palatable–set of rules for holiday eating.

Please print and carry this list with you in case you forget what to do.

1.  Avoid carrot sticks.
Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2.  Drink as much eggnog as you can.
And quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3.  If something comes with gravy, use it.
That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4.  As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk.
If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5.  Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating.
The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6.  Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7.  If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge.
Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8.  Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? LaborDay?

9.  Did someone mention fruitcake?
Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10.  If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention.
Re-read tips; start over. But hurry; January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “WOO HOO, what a ride!”

It’s time to let your inner comedian emerge, readers. What tip would you add to the list? Let’s have fun with this.

And sometimes… well… the interpretation tool gets creative with the translation.

In this video, Rhett & Link sang some Christmas carols, uploaded them to YouTube, and let YouTube’s captioning feature interpret the lyrics.

Then Rhett & Link took the interpretations and made those the new lyrics to the old Christmas carols. The results are guaranteed to bring you some Christmas “Ho Ho Hos.”

Sing along!  http://youtu.be/wY0F31G-i9Y

Click here to view the embedded video.

If you liked this video, please share a link to this post with a friend: http://www.bloggingbistro.com/?p=9679

“There comes a point where we must risk everything, our heritage and our training and our future direction, upon a course for which there is no standard definition.”

-Miriam Al-Quais in Book of Dreams

World-renowned psychologist and author, Dr. Elena Burroughs, bases her professional abilities to interpret people’s dreams upon a carefully honed objectivity. She holds patients and their issues at arm’s length.

But when a wealthy and powerful patient describes a recurring dream that defies normal analysis, Elena’s comfortable existence is instantly shattered. Forced to confront personal loss and pain, Elena embarks on a journey — emotional, spiritual, and physical — through which she learns the true meaning of the words from the Lord’s Prayer: “Thy Kingdom come.”

I had the pleasure of chatting with Davis Bunn (a Blogging Bistro client), author of Book of Dreams. I grabbed the opportunity to pick his brain about this new novel (released this month by Howard Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster).

And I’m also giving away a copy of Book of Dreams. To enter, please read the Q&A below, and then answer a simple question, which you’ll find at the end of this article.

Your novels usually have a very strong sense of place, and Book of Dreams is no exception. Why did you set this story in Oxford?

When it became possible for us to live from the writing, Isabella and I moved to Oxford. She had been offered a position to do her doctorate here in Christian ethics and law.

I did not particularly want to come, but she was so instrumental in making my own dreams of becoming a writer take wing and fly. Her dream for years had been to obtain her PhD and teach. That’s just the kind of mind she has.

The city and the university have become a true gift to us both, with amazing opportunities for service and personal growth. I have wanted to place a story here for a long time.

In Book of Dreams, you revisit a theme from one of your earlier books, The Warning. Why did you write about the crisis in the banking industry?

The Warning, published in 2003, focused on the then-current financial crisis. It was about a man who felt called by God to warn people that financial upheaval was coming, and the difficulties he had in getting his message across. That book was in the top five on the CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) best-seller list for 14 months.

The week I started writing Book of Dreams, the news broke that not one single banker responsible for the mortgage crisis and bank crisis had been convicted of a crime. The banking industry came out of this crisis relatively unscathed while 3 million American families lost their homes — that’s almost 15 percent of all homeowners in America. That, to me, is just not right.

The banking industry is all about self-interest and making money. The American banking industry spends $1 million a day lobbying Congress, while the international banking industry spends another million per day lobbying the American political system. With that much money on the table, there’s a potential for huge profits – the banking industry wouldn’t invest that much money for any other reason.

The question became: “What could happen that would stymie this self-absorbed lobbying?”

The answer: An independent commission that would oversee these transactions so there’d be nowhere for these people to hide. I built Book of Dreams around that premise.

Book of Dreams explores the question: “Where does the human psyche end and God begin?” Why did you choose that question as the framework for your story?

Psychology has always fascinated me; so much so that it almost became my profession. One question I love to explore is why so many psychologists are vehemently opposed to the idea of a personal faith.

Those in the camp opposed to faith and religion say that psychology is about wrestling with and identifying personal issues, emotions, and things from the past that block one from being happy. Opponents believe that when you insert faith into the situation, it serves as an excuse for not looking at the past, not being honest about one’s emotions, and not taking control of one’s life.

On the other side, there is a deepening within a group of psychologists and psychiatrists who are strong in their faith. Rather than trying to convince the larger group about the value of faith, their goal is to look at things honestly, with God and prayer as components of the healing process.

In my story, the main character, Elena Burroughs, is the world’s foremost authority on dreams. A psychologist who is deeply involved in current trends in human psychology, Elena is also a devoted believer. She is in the process of discovering that the barrier between God and the human psyche does not exist.

Your story explores how God uses dreams and visions to communicate with people. What inspired that idea?

My wife and I did a wonderful Bible study on the book of Daniel, in which we explored how dreams were one component of Daniel’s gift of prophecy.

When I wrote the book, I tried to build in two key components about communicating with God through dreams or visions. The first is humility. Rather than using a vision or dream for one’s own aggrandizement, I believe that the less the person is involved, the more God can shine through.

The second component is, “How does this vision tie in to the scriptures?”

When I was in the Middle East, I saw beautiful cryptograms of the Lord’s Prayer. It was so telling to see the Lord’s Prayer in terms of artwork. This inspired the idea of a book written in Aramaic – the language Jesus spoke – with each verse of Lord’s Prayer on one page of the book.

As I drafted the story, I looked at the Lord’s Prayer one verse at a time and that became my prayer time. It took three months to write the book and I did not finish the Lord’s Prayer in three months. It was a beautiful experience for me.

When the character of Elena follows God’s lead, her life takes a different path than the one she planned or expected. Davis, in what ways does your own dependence on God’s leading take you in surprising directions?

It’s remarkable how this question comes up now, because it seems like this entire year has been one of being open to God’s OTHER direction. This has been true both in my creative work and in my walk of service.

Obviously I had no idea what was in store for us when I wrote the Book of Dreams (remember, the story is completed between nine and twelve months before its publication). But this really has been a reflection of what the story has tried to reveal – that sometimes the most important gift is what at first is what we fear.

Change often feels threatening, but so long as we struggle, we can’t see the true divine intention. To arrive at this point, where our prayer becomes one of genuinely seeking God’s call and His illumination, we must first embrace the change that is there in front of us.

Do you write down your prayer requests? In what ways do you recognize and acknowledge God’s power at work in your life?

What a beautiful question. There are several components to this, and it goes back to the earlier issue of accepting change. There are moments in my prayer life when I feel as though God is speaking the words for me, and my task is first and foremost to treat my heart and mind like an open window. To hold onto nothing except the moment, and allow the spiritual winds to pass through me and on into the world. At these times it is important to write them out, because oft when the moment is past I cannot otherwise even remember what has transpired.

The other segment here is in dealing with change. I often feel in such uncertain moments that I have no real understanding of what is happening, or what God wishes to bring me to, until it is done. Looking back becomes vital, and it is also sometimes rather hard, because the rush of events and the speed of unfolding newness requires all my attention. And yet, if I can pause just for a moment, and reflect upon all the uncertainty and fear I had to wade through in order to simply respond with a simple openhearted ‘yes’, the wisdom that comes from this moment of backward reflection is a gift, and needs to be recorded.

Too often we seek completion, a sense of drawing everything together into a nice tidy bundle before we stop and draw the prayerful breath. But life is not like this. And here is the third element of discovery that has come through my prayer time during this year of transition. It is important to stop, just for a moment, in the pressure and the fatigue of a day’s end, and give thanks for having made it this far.

For me, when the uncertainty of unfinished work pushes at my every waking moment, there is a great temptation to forget this simple task. But if I can stop and simply affirm the goodness of this incomplete day, this human hour, this imperfect world, my NEXT day is so much fuller, and my vision so much clearer.

Is a sequel for Book of Dreams planned? If so, when can we expect it?

I am this very moment completing the sequel, which is entitled Hidden in Dreams. Howard/Simon and Schuster have this slated for release in July 2012.

How can readers find you on the Internet?

My website, blog, and interactive discussion group are at www.davisbunn.com

I update my blog at least three times per week. To subscribe to my latest posts via your feed reader or via email, click http://feeds.feedburner.com/DavisBunn

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Davis-Bunn-author/134762129885578

Twitter: @davisbunn – http://twitter.com/davisbunn

E-Newsletter: My free e-newsletter always includes a giveaway contest for my latest book. To subscribe, fill out the form at www.davisbunn.com or send a blank e-mail to davisbunn@aweber.com. You’ll receive a confirmation e-mail. Click the link in that e-mail, and you’re all set.

Enter for a chance to win Book of Dreams

Please leave a comment about something from the Q&A that sparked your interest. For a second, bonus entry, click this link to Like Davis Bunn’s Facebook page, and let me know in the Comments area that you liked it. Contest closes Friday, October 28, 2011 at 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time. I’ll select the winner via the Random Number Generator and will announce the winner in the comments area of this post after the contest closes. Hope you win!

Head on over to Fiverr.com and hire a cute young woman – for only $5 – to be your Facebook girlfriend for one whole week. She advertises:

“I’ll leave you cute comments and all of those other things a girlfriend does! This offer is not just for the guys, ladies are welcomed too!”

This is just one of the many bizarre and entertaining services offered at fiverr, a website where you can buy and sell things you’re willing to do for $5.

Other examples in the “Social Marketing” category:

I will create a video testimony positively reviewing your business, website, or product.

Seriously? Buying a fake testimony?

I will send your tweet, URL, message to my 2000 loyal twitter followers.

Most people will re-tweet for free, but hey, if you’re desperate…

I will setup The New Facebook Timeline On Your Facebook Profile.

That actually does sound like a good deal!

In the “Graphics” category:

I will make you the best ebook cover.

As I say to my son when he asks, “Will you make me a milkshake?”

“Poof, you’re a milkshake!”

I will touch up your photo in Photoshop Cs5.

I’m in!

In the “Fun and Bizarre” category:

I will dance to an entire song of your choice in a hot dog costume.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Lots of people are actually buying this one!

I will record my voice saying your message in Greek.

…So your listeners can say with confidence, “It’s Greek to me.”

What would YOU buy or sell on Fiverr.com?

‘Fess up in the Comments area.

Thanks

…to Joan Stewart, The Publicity Hound, for providing the inspiration for this post (and the link to fiverr.com).

This is not the same pig featured in Consumer Reports, but it's close (this pig is much cuter).

The November issue of Consumer Reports just arrived, and my 15-year-old son and I raced to see who could flip to the inside back cover fastest (he won).

The last page of the magazine features bloopers: misspellings in advertisements, missing words, and other unintended turns of phrase that make us giggle. Okay, they make us laugh uproariously.

This month’s issue features a “House for Sale” sign posted next to an outhouse.

But our favorite is the cute, cuddly pink stuffed piggy that looks like a teddy bear with a snout on it. Perfect for your toddler!

The fabric care tag reads:

“Only Clean With Damn Sponge.”

Here’s another strange turn of phrase that my husband heard on the radio. I’m not going to provide the context, but if you correctly guess what this phrase means, I’ll send you a free copy of my e-book, Blogophobia Conquered ($20 value).

“The littlest yards loom the largest.”

Let’s have fun with this. Guess away! First two people to guess correctly get free books.

Joliprint instantly creates a nicely-formatted, printable PDF of any web page.

Here are three ways you can use it:

1.  Enter the URL of the web page (or blog post) you want to create a PDF of/print into the form field at joliprint.com

2.  Install the Joliprint plugin (which I did) to your WordPress.org, WordPress.com, or Blogspot site.

3.  Embed code for the “print” button on any page of a website.

Visitors to your website/blog who use the Joliprint button can save, share, or print a PDF from each post or page.

And you can customize the settings for your Joliprint button. There are a variety of buttons to choose from (I uploaded the standard PDF icon). You can also customize your PDF header, set up a Google Analytics campaign, and track PDF downloads and clicks inside a PDF.

Try it! Click the PDF icon located at the end of this post and see what happens.

While I don’t own a Kindle (yet), I did download the free Kindle app to my PC.

Today I downloaded a free copy of The Centurion’s Wife, a historical fiction novel co-authored by my friend, Davis Bunn, and Janette Oke.

The Centurion’s Wife is the first book in a three-part series. The other two books are The Hidden Flame and just released this week, The Damascus Way. I’ve already read the first two and enjoyed them — can’t wait to read the concluding book in the series.

You’ll find complete details about how to get your free download at Davis Bunn’s blog. Get yours today; who knows when the free download will expire!

Why Offer Freebies?

Several of my author friends have told me that offering a free, limited-time Kindle download of their book boosts sales.

1. People read the book (or part of the book) on Kindle and then decide to buy the printed version.
2. People read the book on Kindle, like it, and recommend it to friends, who then buy the book.
3. People read the book on Kindle and decide to purchase other books the author has written. This works particularly well when an author publishes a series, such as Davis Bunn and Janette Oke have done. The Centurion’s Wife is Book 1 in a 3-part series. It was originally published in 2009 (I think). Since the third book in the series was released this week, people are likely to download the free copy of book 1 and purchase books 2 and 3, so they can read them back to back to back.

Resurrecting a book that was published several years ago as a free Kindle download breathes new life into that book and draws attention to more recent books an author has published.

Of course, an author can’t just decide to offer a free Kindle download — that is the publisher’s decision. But it never hurts to ask.

Authors: Have you offered a free Kindle download of your book(s)? What did you learn from the experience?

After an exhausting workday on Thursday, I stared at my monitor, desperate to wring some semblance of creativity out of my brain. Didn’t happen. So, dear readers, please forgive me, but I’m reverting to Plan B.

I was editing blog posts for one of my clients when I came across this contest that perked me right up (I’m a sucker for a contest):

WinePress of Words blog is giving away 1,000 Custom Designed Business Cards, compliments of Notation Group.

Here’s what the winner gets:

• Double-sided, full-color, 14 pt C2S Stock business cards
• Up to 1 hr. custom design (Includes stock photography/design usage)
• Up to 2 revision runs

Do you need new business cards? I know I do. And you can’t beat custom-designed, double-sided cards!

Here’s the best part:

To enter the contest, all you have to do is leave a comment on the WinePress of Words blog, telling them what you do for a job/hobby/service and how you’d use 1,000 business cards. How easy is that? Easy enough to enter (and possibly win!) the contest, I’m thinking.

I have had business cards designed and printed by the wonderful folks at Notation Group, and they do a fantastic job (no, they are not paying me to say this).

So what are you waiting for? Zip over to the WinePress of Words blog right now and enter the contest. Tell ‘em the Blogging Barista sent you.

We’ll resume our e-course with renewed vigor and vim on Monday.

Related Articles:

• How to Market Yourself With Business Cards
• Local Printer: Your Essential Marketing Partner

To access and use the Snipping Tool, do the following:

1.  Boot up your computer and click the Start button in the lower lefthand corner of your screen.

2.  In the “Search programs and files” box that pops up, type Snipping Tool. A link to the program will display. Click the link to open the program.

3.  Once the toolbox opens, click “New” and a drop-down menu will allow you to choose from:

• Free-form Snip
• Rectangular Snip
• Window Snip
• Full-screen Snip

4.  Select one option (or play with ‘em all to see how they differ). I usually use Rectangular Snip.

5.  Drag your cursor around the portion of the screen you want to capture and a new window will open with the Snip (the screenshot) in it. You can write on the snip or highlight portions of it (and you can erase what you’ve written, do don’t worry if you goof).

6.  You can copy the Snip, e-mail it, or save it as a PNG, GIF, JPG, or HTML file.

Snips are the quickest, easiest way I’ve found to create and add screenshots to a blog post. Here’s a Snip I just took of an update I posted to the new Social Media Support Group on Facebook (I embedded a link to the Support Group into the image. When you click the image, you’ll be routed to the Social Media Support Group):

Sample of a Rectangular Snip

If you’re a PC user, try the Snipping Tool and share with us a creative way you’re using it. Mac users: what’s the easiest way you’ve found to take screenshots?