Category Archives: Putrid Prose
How Not to Write a Layoff Notice: Starbucks Case Study
I have a particularly busy week ahead and everyone in my family (me included) is coming down with a cold. Not a good combo. So I’m falling back on a blogger’s trick: I’m re-running a post from three years ago…. more >
Freebie Friday: Guess What This Phrase Means and Win a Copy of ‘Blogophobia Conquered’
The November issue of Consumer Reports just arrived, and my 15-year-old son and I raced to see who could flip to the inside back cover fastest (he won). The last page of the magazine features bloopers: misspellings in advertisements, missing… more >
Painfully Funny Similes and Metaphors from High School Students
That fella’s the raspberry seed in my wisdom tooth. –The Music Man You can almost feel it, can’t you? That tiny, irritating raspberry seed lodged in your tooth (or worse yet, in your gums). A good metaphor or simile breathes… more >
Jargon Drives Me Crazy
The owner of a car lot narrated the following radio ad: “…These cars are heavily incentivized…” Incentivized? I’ve heard of “offering incentives.” But incentivized? I had to check it out. Sure enough, it’s in the dictionary, and it means “to… more >
Direct Mail Piece Stinks Up My Mailbox
Here’s a whopping bad example of putrid prose from a direct mail piece I received. The following sentence is an amendment to a Custodial Account Agreement for my retirement fund: The Custodian shall vote all shares that are held in… more >
Every Good Teacher Should Torture Her Students
A newspaper editor gave me permission to print the following example of Putrid Prose. He writes: “One of my former reporters once wrote a story about an after-school learning program at the middle school. It quoted a source as saying:… more >
Ever Had a Stake Dinner?
The following sentence appeared in a published memoir: I challenged him to a hundred yard run with the steakes being a stake dinner for two at the restaurant of the winner’s choice. The writer demonstrates a common problem: homophone confusion…. more >
Wrong Word Choice Results in Stinky Sentence
Heard on the radio: “When I was a little girl, I had a fragrant disregard for taking my shoes off when I entered my house.” The deejay must have had stinky feet when she was younger — which would account… more >
Speling and Grammer Do Count
I regularly create media kits for authors. The authors I work with complete an extensive survey, answering questions about their background, their book’s content, and how they’d like to see their book publicized. I incorporate their responses into a press… more >
A Little Toilet Humor
Seen inside a public toilet stall: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. (My sons do that… and our toilet works.) On a readerboard outside a pre-school: This sign intentionally left blank, just like your child’s mind. (Should parents… more >
